Haiz..

Hmm...Today is Halloween Nite but i juz stay at home..well, all my life i haven join any halloween party but guessing dat nex year will sure gonna attend it..coz i wan to try too..hehehe....my parents go back to hometown again..so my bro is back home to accompany me..but then this house really feel so empty..or may b my self feel empty..well..i juz dunno wat to write anymore..good day everyone..!!!

Yeah...!!!

Ok i juz wan to share sumthing...today i juz saw my post is already 20 post but then after i write n post this one..it will b 21...hmm..but nevermind..this is like only reminder..so this is not counted..hahahaha...coz i say so...hehehehe...ok..i only wan to tell this..bye2...

What a "Great" Morning!!!!

Ok..when i say "Great" is not really that great n not even great at all...ok so..i start my day by waking up n take my shower...so after that i clean the dinning table by cleaning those last nite left over to b washed...n after that i go clean my cat cages at outside..coz u noe cat..they really done a "mess" after they eat...but this ok la...not really make me really "burn" my head in the morning...after dat...the time i cleaning it..i realize one of my cat has died...n ya of coz i'm sad..but thats not the point too...so i call my little bro to help me burried it...i call for so many time like hell he dint care at all..but when he ask me to help him wash his cloth...i did..).but still on the washing machine...)

So..wat i did is i go to see where he watch the TV..! huh...like wat the fuck man...he pretend to sleep..than this is the time the fire is getting hotter...then i say la if u ask my help i do but bla bla bla..then only he wan to help..but that time..i dun even care at all ...so i do all by my self to buried my cat "short tail" ya his name is short tail...bcoz his tail is short..hehe..cute cat..but may b not his luck to live right..b4 this he also dont really eat his meal..even we try so many food to gave him..@(...ok..so i finish buried my cat then i wash my hand and leg ..aarr..this is wat i do...i take out my cloth that i mix wit his(my stupid little bro) cloth to be rinsed n dry ...n i juz left his cloth at the machine..HAHAHA...do i care..??? No...!!! hahahahaha...

Not finish yet...so i washed some dishes again..the mess that they gave after cooking the breakfast ...(eerrrggg...so dirty...cant they clean up a bit) so then i notice one of the chopstick is broke (patah la) so with anger i ask..who the hell break the thing ..( bha pandai2 la rasa bersalah tu ar) ..then i juz finish wash n do my breakfast n go back to my room n eat there..(nah..puas hati saya) n make the music to full volume...n i saw the time is already at noon...wow ...so great..breakfast at noon..its LUNCH time lo...but i juz eat it la..so make it as my lunch too..heheheh...so only this for now..haiz..my anger also already kinda slowly getting "cooler" hehehe...daaaa

Hallo2...

Well juz kinda bored bcoz waiting for my movie to finish download..ya i'm doin those piracy thing...but who care..i juz dint hav the time or manage to go watch the movie in theater...i'm not like u la k..so many time..! ok2..cool down 1st..hehe..

So, i'm downloading dis 4/5 movie..hmm..forgot how many actually..(actually i can go refer but duh..its me..) ..so i have waited and waited...and waited so long..the download speed dint move...so i juz say like..wat the..!!! so i'm click the force download hoping it will move a bit..but still..no change..so i juz leave it there n now i'm here blogging...hehehe...well..juz let it go by its own la kan...hmm..so kinda miss my two fren dat are may b chit-chat'ing at their room now...or may b sleeping ..coz they gonna start like at 6/7 in the morning if not wrong..so god bless them again 2mrw..hehe...

Totaly i can see how many crappy thing i wrote already...so i'm gonna stop again for now..see ya nex time..hehehehe...

Cant Stop..!!

Ya its me again..hehehe..i juz cannot stop write sumthing today..feel like so many want to tell..hehe..hmm...well juz finish taking my shower..ya i noe..its almost like wat the hell..so late..but its better than b4 thou..b4 like almost everyday will take my shower at midnight or after midnight...hehehe...but now already change my habit a bit la..

So.. wat i actually wan to say is...hmm..nothin...hehehe..well 2mrw my mom n dad gonna sent my grandma back to hometown dat is at Tenom...and plus more my sis gonna go to Sandakan for outstation ya..bcoz of the Voting thing...then left me n my younger bro..hehe..my Ban Ban..miss my little bro so much...now he will only back home when he is off...so not owes gonna meet him...but 2mrw he off day so he will b accompany me at home..

Haiz..then today morning i go for this interview at this XXXX hotel...kinda sucks n the worst interview ever...the boss is very LC...haiz..shit la..hope ur hotel gonna bankrupt soon.. !!!!!!

Then i got go fill form for one company again..hope i get it..i juz wan to learn more but y some of them cant give me the opportunity..haiz..

Ok ..so 2mrw i juz feel like wanna go watch movie but my two dis sot2 fren go CLIMBATHON...hahaha..can u believe it...they actually go there o...haiz..kinda sad coz cant follow them but i set my mind to go nex time...hehehe...to Shu Fen n Alice...hope u guys ok at there...take care n may god bless u two...amen..~~

Hmm..then about 2mrw plan i still dint noe wat to do...gonna plan it or may b 70% is juz gonna stay at home...n Now i'm chit chat with my fren at msn, eddie...hehehe..this is my 38 fren oso...sot2 fren can say..hehe..so..juz dis for now..gonna continue chat wit him now..daaaa...

We All Do...

I Admit That I Cant Change It Now..But I Just Hoping That We Never Knew Each Other From The Beginning But Then Its How I Can Know What People Are Like Right..? It Will Never Work Out The Way We Wanted It To Be Anymore...It Just A Mistake That I Have Choose May Be to Live Like This...I Cant Reverse It..But We Do Need Someone By Our Side To Hear All Our Sad Story..Sad To Say, You Never Understand...How I Wanted Live To Be...

I Do Not Know If I Can Survive For How Many Years To Come..Hope There Is Something That Can Change How I See It..But I Will Never Be The Same....

Not Wish To..

The truth is i dun hav any best frens...but i juz hav a trusted fren...i cant say which one is my best and which are not...i love all my frens but juz one thing can make me lost contact or juz hav to not b fren with them anymore..TRUST.... i hate to say this but actually i noe who can be trust n who are not...but as long as they dint LIE to me..n LIE in a very indescribable or without any reason...then its hard for me to b fren with them anymore...

For me is really hard to find who truly understand u, y u do dat certain thing n y u dint ....i noe not everyone can understand u but at least can care for u feel will do rite...there is one of my fren we hav an argue b4 say that i dun care for my fren n i juz care for my self...well actually i not dint care for u all but past has brought me who i become today...i juz can trust anyone anymore..n not only past..on present life now also dint happen some bad thing in my life...i not the kind of frens that will show the world HOW MUCH I CARE FOR U ALL...but if u really need me..sure i will b there for u..but if u wan to make fun the frenship we build than its useless to keep say sorry and b fren again..

Its a silly thing huh...i noe it such a drama for some people to say y i wrote dis..but i dun even care..coz its the only way i need to express how i feel now...may b the frendship is not truly gone forever...yes in the past i have some misunderstanding with my high school fren n actually till now i dun noe wat i hav done wrong till we dint talk for quite some time...but after awhile..we b fren together..but not as close as b4..( sorry kepada sesiap yg terlibat..hanya untuk contoh saja ..hehehehe...)

But let me clear dis thing about me..if i really did sumthing wrong then i will surely apologize to that person..but if i'm the one who b blame n of coz..the one who made many wrong still make dunno ..then sorry to tell that dis fren is not worth for me to care...

hAve no idEa...

wat hav gone wrong..i dunno...did we go the wrong direction, do we need to turn back and have a return..but can we..??

lately my self i think have change quit a lot...juz to more haters person...cant blame anyone but who's to blame then..?? i juz cant figure out wat happen to my life..i try to change but i think i keep changing to more unpredictable person too..i cant understand myself anymore..the more i wan to noe, the more i brought myself into unknown world...trying to back to my old world too but there is sumthing wrong wit it too..so wat shuld i do...keep moving on, turn back time or stay the same..only two ways i can go now...of coz we cant turn back time so, we juz need to moving on and stay the same..but this two also owes bring a disaster in us..haiz..

juz wish i have someone or sumthing to tell me to go for the right direction...but it juz like living inside a disney world..because in reality, there are no such thing as perfection...huhu..my life..really2 haiz....juz sumtime cry on my sleep because of too tired hearing, living the life...i cant hold or even stop...because this is life..but when will it end..???

happy..???

happy for awhile, sad for whole life....ya dats life...

never tot that ppl can b so depressed in life for such small prob they get in life...laugh still laugh but the laugh will owes be conquer by the tears..tears will owes win...

haiz...actually dunno wat to write in this blog anymore...wan to write but juz cant made it to b a word...i juz cant really let my feeling out anymore..to this blog, to my fren or even to my family..i juz cant...

start over again..

again..!! never stop saying to our self that we will start over our life again..start a new life...but its not true...we never do, we juz move on, our life still the same...hmm....talking crap again..

so october is here again..n left only 3 more month to end this year...but still i din achieve anything in my life, juz finish study, finish my practical n now searching for job..but then my life still the same...never change...may b some of my frens ordy have a new life...a thing dat concern them now...but me...still here standing all alone never leave...i juz hope sumthing big come to me...so dat i can a grown up...ya i noe...i'm like a child that never been exposed to anything...but actually i'm not...n i'm not gud person too...i'm juz a normal gal that hav made mistake in life..do some stupid thing in life...

i juz wan to do things rite for once more but i cant..sorry coz i cannot do anything to change my life to b a better person...i noe...i become more unpredictable than before..but i juz cant help it...all that happen in my life juz totally change me...change wat i feel to this world...some say thios world is cruel..some say it juz to teach us how to live long in here..but y life cant b as simple as we wan it to b...WHY IT CANT..!!!! i juz dun wan to thing anything rite now about others anymore...i juz wan to live my life..but it juz aint that easy...talk is easy but action is hard...that is totally rite..